This week, the entire KPRC 2 team is working on ‘Breaking Free’ to help domestic and partner abuse survivors. Many times if you or a loved one is planning to get out of a dangerous relationship, there are financial and legal aspects you need to know about.
For this week’s Ask Amy episode, Amy Davis talked with Brandi Lowery with Lone Star Legal Aid. Lowery offers advice based on the clients she helps each day. Topics covered include:
- Getting a protective order
- How abusers use money and finances to keep control
Now, we learn more about what someone needs to do to prepare legal and other documents before an escape. Lowery says you will need to get copies of identification items, like passports and birth certificates.
“If you have children, you know, make a copy of those and then put them somewhere safe then get you like an overnight bag or spend the night bag and put clothes in there do not leave though in any financial statements. If you can have access to your financial records, you could put those in a bag.”
Do not leave the documents at home where the abuser can see them.
Lowery says: “Take it to a friend’s house or that place where you feel safe and then when you’re ready to leave have a safe word like pineapple or oranges, so when you call that person and say, ‘Hey pineapple’ that person can come down the street and meet you, leave when the person is not there and you can you have all the stuff that you need.”
You will need those documents to apply for assistance. It’s OK to wait until after you leave to apply.
“When you get ready to apply for government assistance or any type of assistance, you’ll have that information handy your social security number your kid’s social security numbers. I mean sometimes the original is good. But if you don’t have time to get the original at least have a copy to get started,” Lowery explains.
But if you can’t get the paperwork in order, don’t let that hold you back.
Lowery says she often sees that getting out is a life or death decision and there is not always time to plan ahead.
“If your life is in danger that can’t be your first that might be what’s holding you back because you care about the safety and welfare and well-being of your children, but how safe are you if you stay and try to work all those things out and usually you’re not necessarily working those things out,” said Lowery. “You’re just shielding the abuse from the children, but the children still see it and that’s one thing that I would like to tell people out there. Like you’re not just because you’re taking the abuse and you feel like oh the abusers not attacking the children.
Lone Star Legal Aid can help with many family legal issues
Lone Star Legal Aid can help with various family law matters including custody and divorce. The number is 713-652-0077.
You can see the program guide for every story in our ‘Breaking Free’ series
We also have a complete list of free domestic violence resources, but help is available immediately if you need it through the following numbers:
- Houston Area Women’s Center: (713) 528-2121
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: (800) 799−7233
- If you are in immediate danger, call 911.