Different celebratory holidays impact people in different ways.
For some, Mother’s Day is a day to celebrate the person who birthed you or cared for you as a maternal figure. It’s one of the few days out of the year for children to take time out to adore their mother, or a moment for mothers to gaze upon the lives they’ve brought into the world.
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But for others, Mother’s Day may be a somber and challenging time, especially if you’ve lost your mom or if you ultimately desire motherhood yourself.
Psychologist Jamie Long, Psy.D – who also faces infertility – notes that holidays like Mother’s Day can add “additional emotional stress to an already complicated situation,” according to ArcFertility.com.
Parents.com provides insight, saying “Just for the record—infertility and pregnancy or infant loss can be devastating experiences that drain the life force out of even the strongest women.”
SEE ALSO: All the things not to say to a parent experiencing miscarriage, infant loss
Below are a few do’s and don’ts to remember this Mother’s Day:
The National Infertility Association recommends planning in advance for Mother’s Day.
If they choose to sit out the holiday, consider finding an activity to enjoy. With a partner – or friends who don’t have children – plan a movie, take a hike, or have a great meal.
If they choose to speak about their journey, sit and listen. Tell them you see them, love them, that you know they are in pain, and that you are so sorry.
Schedule a spa day or go to your local nail salon and skip the Mother’s Day brunch.
Do not offer platitudes or reasons or anecdotes.
Do not tell them how easy it was for you to get pregnant, offer them your own children or tell them the negatives about pregnancy, labor, or parenting.
Do not go to the grocery store or places heavily populated with Mother’s Day items.
No matter how she chooses to spend Sunday, make sure she spends it indulging in self-care🤍
SEE ALSO: National Infertility Awareness Week held to destigmatize struggles to build a family