HOUSTON – The flowers are out, reservations are made and jewelry is on sale. Every year across the country women are honored on Mother’s Day.
For some children, this day is only a painful reminder of the mother they lost.
As a child who grew up without a mother, this day is nothing new for my older sister and me. We lost our mother in a fatal car accident as toddlers, and were raised by our lovely grandparents. As we got older, each Mother’s Day became a little sweeter. We learned to really appreciate those special people in our lives, and honor our grandmother for picking up the pieces that were left behind.
My sister, Brandie Taylor made sure we celebrated our grandmother and honored her on Mother’s Day.
“I was more thankful for my grandmother being there and not making it an awkward day for us. I made her something she would always tell me how much my mother would have loved that gift as well,” Taylor said.
As a mother myself, I would never want my child to mourn my absence on a day of celebration -- and I can’t imagine another mother would want their child to suffer as we did.
Mother’s Day can be a day to remember the good times you had with your mother, with siblings, other family members and friends.
Dominick Davis lost his mother last month and will still celebrate his mother by buying her a gift.
“To be honest, I’m still going to buy her something even though she is gone in my eye sight, but not in my mind. I still look at it as if she is still here,” Davis said.
J’Da Sonier said she lost her mother to brain cancer last year and she likes to stay busy with family members and celebrate with them.
“Since my mom passed, my daddy and friends always try to keep me busy with them for Mother’s Day. They put dinners or gatherings together as a way to steer my mind away from it,” Sonier said. “So this year we are going to church together and we have a reservation at P.F. Chang's to eat.”
Ryan Thompson lost his mother and likes to celebrate other mothers.
“I often celebrate women who are mother and I’m close to,” Thompson said.
“I use to write a letter to her every year and burn it and pray,” Raven Payour-Sanchez said.
“I make it my point to go spend it with her at her grave site before I do anything else on Mother’s Day,” Sly Rogue said.
Despite the broken relationship Erika Cobio has with her mother, she said she looks forward to celebrating with her children.
“I don’t have a relationship with my mother for years, but I celebrate myself as a mother,” Cobio.
Throughout those responses, Mother’s Day can still be celebrated, regardless if she is present or not.
Here’s a list of ideas on how you can continue to celebrate Mother's Day without your mother:
- Gather with sibling or other family members and cook your mother’s favorite meal, or go out to eat at her favorite restaurant.
- Celebrate Mother’s Day with someone who is like a mother figure to you, such as a grandmother, mother-in-law or friend’s mother as an example.
- Write a letter of appreciation to your mother, read it out loud and take a moment of silence to honor her life on earth.
- If you’re brave enough, visit your mother’s grave site and tell her about the accomplishments you’ve made so far in life.
- Have a candlelight vigil or gathering with family and friends