Houston – Love does not usually fall apart overnight. Most of the time, it fades quietly when life gets busy and no one is paying attention. Jobs, kids, schedules, and stress can slowly push connection to the back burner without couples even realizing it.
That is why relationship and intimacy expert Dr. Viviana Coles with Houston Relationship Therapy says couples need love resolutions just as much as fitness or financial goals. According to Dr. Coles, relationships do not stay strong on autopilot. Without intention, couples often drift into roommate mode, where communication drops, desire fades, and resentment quietly builds.
Dr. Coles explains that when couples do not have shared relationship goals, they usually only talk about the relationship when something is wrong. That pattern makes connection feel like work instead of something positive and proactive. Over time, affection and emotional closeness can start to feel awkward or forced rather than natural.
The solution, she says, is not doing more but doing things on purpose. Love resolutions give couples a shared direction and an easy way to stay aligned. Simple habits like planning weekly surprises, flirting without pressure, creating new memories together, and offering daily emotional compliments can help keep love feeling intentional and alive all year long.
Why you and your partner should have love resolutions
Couples who stay connected don’t do more. They do things on purpose. Love resolutions give couples a simple way to keep choosing each other all year long.
- Love resolutions give couples a shared direction
Healthy couples protect and grow their relationship. Love resolutions are about alignment, not pressure. Couples feel like teammates again.
- Love doesn’t stay strong on autopilot
Many couples believe love will “just work” if the feelings are there. Without intention, couples drift into roommate mode. Emotional distance and resentment build quietly over time
- When couples don’t set relationship goals, problems become the focus
Conversations about the relationship only happen when something is wrong. Connection starts to feel like work instead of enjoyment. There is no shared vision for growth
- Lack of intention shows up as low desire and emotional disconnection
Affection and attraction fade without nurturing closeness. Desire becomes mismatched or pressured. Intimacy starts to feel awkward instead of natural
What do they look like for Dr. Coles?
- At least two intimate experiences per week
- Sharing the cooking load with Mother Cooks Mondays
- No more procrastinating on professional projects
What can they look like for your relationship?
- One surprise a week
Small gestures like a coffee run or a note. Breaking predictability keeps connection fresh. Reminds your partner they are still being thought of
- Flirting on purpose
Flirting that is not tied to sex. Compliments, playful texts, casual affection. Keeps attraction alive without pressure
- One new shared memory each month
Does not need to be expensive or complicated. Trying something new together prevents stagnation. Creates positive moments to look forward to
- Daily compliments that aren’t about logistics
Not about chores, parenting, or schedules. Focused on who your partner is and how they make you feel. Builds emotional safety and long-term goodwill
If you are looking for relationship guidance, Dr. Coles offers free tools through her VIVID Relationships app, which includes love resolutions, communication tips, and intimacy resources designed to help couples stay connected through every season of life. The app is available on both the Apple Store and Google Play Store.