HOUSTON – Kentucky Fried Chicken is trying to improve a toasty, roaring fire by infusing its signature fried chicken fragrance into a log you can burn at home.
The 5-pound KFC 11 Herbs & Spices fire log is $18.99. Customers can only buy one, as quantities are limited, according to the website.
The pitch on the KFC website is hilarious advertising fun:
“For more than a million years, mankind has been attempting to improve upon the simple fire. We’ve tried burning different things like sticks or leaves or various incriminating documents. We’ve tried making fires last longer. We’ve even figured out how to turn them into different colors. All of that experimentation, all of that innovation, has culminated in this event, the KFC 11 Herbs & Spices Fire log, from Enviro-Log.
“Imbued with the unmistakable, mouth-watering aroma of Colonel Sanders’ secret recipe, the KFC 11 Herbs & Spices Fire log finally puts to rest the age-old dilemma, ‘How can I make this fire a hundred bajillion times better?’ This one-of-a-kind fire log from Enviro-Log, a leading manufacturer of fire logs made of 100 percent recycled materials, is the result of countless hours of research and development, all done over the last couple of months since we had this idea. Pick up a fire log today, and you’ll be wondering how you were ever able to enjoy a fire that didn’t smell like fried chicken.
“Made with 100 percent recycled materials, the KFC 11 Herbs & Spices Fire log from Enviro-Log is dramatically less wasteful and significantly more effective at making your home smell like fried chicken than burning actual fried chicken.”
The ad also warns that the fire log "may result in a craving for fried chicken" and "may attract bears or neighbors who are hungry." The company adds that the fire log smells great, but is not edible, and that people should avoid putting one's face "directly into fire in attempt to smell fried chicken."