HOUSTON – Stalking is one of the strongest warning signs that violence could escalate — and experts say knowing what steps to take early can make a difference.
Heather Bellino, CEO of Texas Advocacy Project and a recent member of Texas Governor Greg Abbott’s Family Violence Criminal Homicide Prevention Task Force, says stalking is often misunderstood and underestimated.
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“I’ve done this with the other colleagues on this task force just as recently as Tuesday,” Bellino said.
She says stalking is not always a stranger lurking in the dark.
“40% of the time, stalking and homicide. Happens in an intimate partner violence relationship,” Bellino said.
Because stalking is often pattern-based rather than a single dramatic incident, it can be difficult to recognize and prove.
“And I think one of the biggest problems with that is that we are used to incident-based criminal activity. This is pattern-based criminal activity,” Bellino said.
If you believe you are being stalked, Bellino says there are important steps to take.
1. Take your own concerns seriously
One of the most important things, she says, is trusting your instincts.
“Let’s be honest, the general population in society, and the victims themselves, need to understand that when their gut is telling them something is off and wrong, they really need to listen to that,” Bellino said.
Stalking behaviors can seem minor when viewed individually — repeated texts, unwanted gifts, someone showing up unexpectedly — but even though behaviors might seem innocuous, Bellino said the patterns matter.
“Why are they afraid? What is it that’s happening? What is the context around? Maybe it’s too many text messages or a light being left on. Those things from the perspective of the victim tell a total story.”
2. Contact law enforcement
Bellino says reaching out to police is critical.
“If somebody is being harmed and they believe that they are being stalked, absolutely, reaching out to law enforcement is critical. They must do it,” she said.
She acknowledges response quality can vary, and victims may have to clearly explain the full pattern of behavior.
“But let’s not always put the onus on the victim,” Bellino said. “Let’s make sure that law enforcement in this beautiful, great state of Texas has the resources and has had the training to really tease that out when they come into an incident-based event to say, ‘Why did this make you afraid?’”
3. Document everything
Documentation can be key to securing legal protection.
“In the sense of being able to maybe get a conviction or get a legal remedy on the civil legal side, perhaps a protective order, the more you can document, the better,” Bellino said.
She recommends:
- Screenshotting messages
- Saving voicemails
- Taking photos
- Backing up digital evidence
“Whenever possible, if you can screenshot things, if you can take pictures, we definitely need to have that supportive evidence,” she said. “Again, stalking might not look threatening to somebody who doesn’t have the context of what’s occurred.”
4. Be cautious on social media
Online platforms can unintentionally provide information to a stalker.
“Social media and our access to each other absolutely creates additional barriers,” Bellino said.
She warns that even photos can reveal more than people realize.
“There are apps out there that if you take a picture with this background, it could tell you exactly where I am,” Bellino said. “It might just be an ocean behind me, but that ocean is identifiable and there is amount of data behind those things.”
Rather than immediately deleting social media accounts, she encourages victims to work with an advocate to develop a personalized safety plan.
5. Know your legal options
Protective orders and other civil remedies may be available.
“If you are being stalked, there are civil legal remedies that can help you, like protective orders,” Bellino said. “It’s very important that you at least understand what your rights are.”
Bellino says the most important takeaway is recognizing stalking as a serious and potentially escalating threat — and acting early before it becomes something worse.
She recommends calling the Texas Advocacy Project if you believe that you might be a victim of stalking.
“We are here to help you out,” she said. “Our attorneys are waiting. And we just want to make sure that everybody in our community is as safe as possible.”