Houston voodoo doctor 'invokes spirits' to help Astros win

HOUSTON – The Dodgers are in deep voodoo.

A Houston voodoo doctor is invoking the spirits to help the Astros win the World Series. 

Last week, the practitioner of New Orleans-style voodoo who calls himself Absolem performed what is known as a “binding ceremony.”

It invoked the spirit of legendary voodoo queen Marie Ladeau to befuddle the Yankees, who were leading the Astros three games to two in the American League Pennant race.

Two days later, the Astro’s triumphed to advance to the World Series. 

On Thursday, Absolem led Channel 2 reporter Phil Archer through a ceremony meant to thank the voodoo queen in front of an altar at his shop, Absolem’s Mid-Town Mojo Manufacturers at 4023 Polk St. 

Without a proper thank you, he explained, the consequences could be dire for the person requesting the spell. 

“A person might get sick, then the person can’t get over this sickness, then the person might lose their job because they can’t got to work,” Absolem said. 

The ceremony involved offerings of rum, flowers and thanks to Laveau’s spirit in front of a voodoo alter in the shop. 

It was followed by a second “binding” ceremony Friday before the third game of the series, to impede the Dodgers.

That ceremony involves inserting a list of Dodgers’ players names in a smoke filled jar symbolizing a desire for Ladeau’s spirit to “cloud” the players’ ability to pitch, hit and field. 

“We don’t want no setbacks or any losses, we want them to keep moving forward in prosperity and in strength.”

So now the Astros officially have their mojo back. Absolem guarantees results and said the only thing to worry about now is the Dodgers coming up with their own voodoo doctor.

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