Ok, call it a hoax, but I just hit the jackpot. I got an email last night from the FBI. According to the info they intercepted a locked case from an airplane that landed yesterday morning. Fearing a potential bomb they scanned the box and found $5.8 million with my name in said box. I was the guy the box with all that cash was meant for and all I have to do is give the FBI all my information. Of course, the FBI most likely already has all my information because I am, after all, a man known by many due to TV, Radio, and frequent visits to H-E-B.
My thanks to the country of Nigeria for sending me the cash. Those guys rock. In other news, I will start tonight for the Astros in game two of the series. This will be my first starting pitching assignment since I beat Sheridan,Illinois in an American Legion game just after Lee's surrender. The news gets even better. I have been told by THE GLOBETROTTERS my application has been turned down, but THE ROCKETS have accepted it. I will become the first SHOOTING GUARD under the height of 6 feet since Scottie Brooks. Scottie told me I could help him coach the team next year. OOPS, I just let the new coach out of the bag.
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This internet thing keeps piling on the good news. I asked for just one thing. Can the ROCKETS PLEASE WIN AT LEAST ONE GAME IN THIS SERIES? The answer came quickly. No, you can't think the impossible. Sorry Nigeria. I will be downtown this afternoon to get my money.