Khloe Kardashian had to do what felt right for herself and her daughter, True Thompson. As the little cutie approaches her second birthday, Khloe sat down with her older sister Kourtney for her lifestyle site, Poosh, to talk about the pressures and stresses she felt while trying to navigate breastfeeding her infant daughter in 2018.
"For me, I remember I used to get almost frustrated with you, not that you even did anything, but you would just talk about this experience you had and how beautiful and, 'I breastfed for 18 months. What do you mean, you're not producing milk?'" Khloe recalled to her sister. "You'd just say things, not at all trying to criticize me, but I would take it like, 'It's not that easy.'"
It was so frustrating because for Kourt it was sooooooo easy for her to breast feed. My experience was very different— Khloé (@khloekardashian) July 7, 2018
Khloe said she tried all the supplements and dietary changes recommended, but nothing seemed to work.
"As soon as I would pump, she would wake up and I'd have to breastfeed her again and my breasts were, like, bleeding. It was horrible," she explained. "You would always try to help me and give me tips and I was like, 'It's just not working!' I'd feel like I'd want to strangle you because your experience seemed so easy and it wasn't for me."
Kourtney admitted the process of nursing was "not so easy," adding, "There is pain involved. The latching, once I figured that out, then it was pretty easy, easier for me."
But Khloe noted, "Pain wasn't my problem, I think parents go through pain for their kids, they don't care. I would do anything. It was more I wasn't producing milk."
Khloe noted that she was "under a lot of stress," alluding to her then-boyfriend and baby daddy Tristan Thompson's first cheating scandal, which went public days before she delivered True.
"I think [that] played a part in why I wasn't producing as easily, but I don't know. It was just a lot," she said.
Khloe noted that when True began losing weight, she had to get serious and her doctor recommended she supplement with formula.
"I remember the first time I had to give her formula, I felt like I failed. I felt so bad about myself. I thought, 'Why? Who's even here judging me? Who knows?'" she recalled. "For me I almost felt like, I swear, like I was smuggling drugs by buying formula. I was like, 'OK, no, I'm not going to tell anyone.' I'm like, 'Why am I even acting like this? Why do I care if people know that I'm formula feeding?'"
Khloe noted that her younger sister Kylie Jenner, who gave birth just a few months before her, didn't seem to struggle with the same issues.
"I know Kylie wasn't going to breastfeed, that was her choice from the start," Khloe said of Kylie, who welcomed her daughter, Stormi Webster, in February 2018.
Khloe added that when she finally went public with her decision not to breastfeed, she received lots of positive feedback.
"People were like applauding me, thank God for just being honest. I hated every minute of it. It was torture," she said of nursing. "I always felt like I was never giving True enough food. I felt like she was always hungry. Once I stopped, though, the amount of pressure that was lifted off my shoulders and I could enjoy my daughter... I'm all for breastfeeding. I tried. But if you can't do it, you don't have to feel like a failure. You don't have to feel like I'm bad at this mom thing. I'm great at this mom thing. Breastfeeding I wasn't great at."