HOUSTON – Well folks, we are down to a final 6 after this week's elimination, and these celebrities are getting twitchy. It is every man/woman for him/herself, and the only alliance really holding strong is the Aubrey-Lisa alliance, which I'm sure will go up in flames as soon as they're pitted directly against each other. Or tears. They both cry a lot.
The task this week was to create a slogan, in-store display and presentation for Donald Trump's new fragrance, Success by Trump for men, to the wonderful executive ladies at Macy's. Yes, that's right. You, too, can be successful like Donald Trump if you smell like Success by Donald Trump. Flawless logic. The project managers for this task were Clay Aiken for Team Forte and Aubrey O'Day for Team Unanimous. Aubrey is finally getting her chance for a rematch with Clay after he dominated the Crystal Light party challenge, proving that there ain't no party like a Clay Aiken party ‘cuz a Clay Aiken party don't stop.
So, Team Unanimous consists of Aubrey O'Day. Oh, and also Teresa Giudice and Arsenio Hall, but they only count as half an Aubrey each. You see, Aubrey O'Day does the work of 3 normal celebrity players, making her a Super Apprentice (I am basing this assessment off of what I believe goes on in Aubrey's head during these challenges). As a Super Apprentice, she will do the entire task herself, because her intellect is so far superior to those of her teammates'. But for the sake of appearances, she will find some menial task for the other teammates to do, keeping them away from potentially harming the overall finished product, which she will have completed single-handedly. She will also sexually harass/obsequiously flatter the boss's son in an attempt to ingratiate herself and also maybe score a marriage proposal by the end of the show. Because that's what Super Apprentices do.
Team Forte, on the other hand, is a real team. But teams that get along are no fun to talk about. So instead, here are some phenomenal quotes from this week's episode:
Arsenio Hall: "Aubrey had a great idea. She said, "Let me put my vagina on the back of your neck!"
Clay Aiken: "Once the model showed up, we put him in a shirt and tie, and tried to do him—oh, mercy! That was a Freudian slip."
You know what's kind of funny and weird? Dayana Mendoza is always coming up with these super racy, sexual ideas for these tasks. Remember the "what's your number?" challenge, when she got kind of graphic about how to use a mop handle? And in this most recent challenge, her big idea was to have the cologne bottle resting between some woman's bare breasts… Dayana! Come now! This is a family show! Ya Venezuelan perv…
In the board room, Aubrey shamelessly took credit for the entire presentation, as we all knew she would, and when Arsenio tried to take even the slightest credit, Aubrey opened those nightmare-inducing eyes an extra inch and a half in horror and disbelief. Whaaaaaaat?! Someone is trying to take credit away from the Super Apprentice? NEVAAAAHHHH!! And for those of you keeping track at home, Aubrey has successfully made passes at three out of four Trumps in her time on The Celebrity Apprentice. Ivanka Trump is all that's left. And a Super Apprentice makes it happen, regardless of sexual orientation. What yourselves, Trump family.
But, as fate would have it, Aubrey took home the $20,000 (which Trump upped to $40,000) prize for her charity and the win for her team, which left Clay and the rest of Team Forte to fight it out with sTrumptious. But here's the deal. Aubrey's display looked like a middle school art project. At least Team Forte took a gorgeous picture of Dayana with a cologne bottle that somewhat resembled a real ad campaign. Sigh.
Clay Aiken ended up bringing Penn and Dayana back to the board room to face elimination. I find Clay to be incredibly well-spoken, and he avoids the Donald Trump blame game rather keenly, always coming off as professional and straight forward. Dayana remains untouchable, as she continues to slide her way through yet another board room elimination. Which leaves Penn Jillette as the guy to take the fall. Peace out, Sasquatch Magician Man. It's been real.
As we get closer and closer to the end, I'm sure the celebs will up their crazy quotient, delivering some highly entertaining moments for all of us nobody's at home to enjoy.
Thanks for reading, and as always, thanks for watching KPRC Local 2!