Psychotherapist Samantha Rushing's rules for talking tech with pre-teens/teens:

• No to the "automatic no" -- don't just say "no" or "don't." Teens need proof that something is what you say it is. Come armed with your facts and evidence.
• Parents need to try the application so they appear to know what they are talking about when starting a conversation with kids about tech. It is convenient and fun, so they need you to explain why it is bad.
• Have them show you. If you don't understand how it works, ask your kid to teach you to use it. If they can answer your questions, then they can have permission to use it.
• Kids love to show off their knowledge. Use this to start a conversation. Let them show off and, in the end, it may set you up to be there when they learn about the "dark side" of the Internet. Have them show you how to set the app to private and what is so "cool" about it.
• Don't just tell them, show them. Kids have no concept of how fast things can spread. Have them send a crazy picture to a sibling who promises not to pass it on. Then have that sibling pass it on to other relatives, to friends, to demonstrate how fast they can lose control over something once they send it into cyberspace.
• Use knowledge, not fear. Don't scare them into using technology that the next generation is going to be using to survive in the world and workforce. It is more about showing them how to handle things when they get in too deep or expose too much.
• Let them know that other people use what you do against you to control you. Make sure children know that no broken rule matters more than their feelings of safety. If they are scared or ashamed or feel guilty, that should never keep them from coming to someone for help.
• Even if you have to have a punishment for a broken rule, be sure to offer positive reinforcement for being brave enough to come forward and telling the truth.