When Parents Away, Rules Should Stay

Anna Friedlein knows she can't be with her kids every minute of every day, even though she'd like to be able to keep them under a parental microscope.

"It's scary to let your kids go like that," she said of her 10-year-old daughter and 14-year-old son.

Tracking Technology | Child-proofing Your Home

When it comes to keeping track of their kids, parents partially rely on control over the situation and partially on trust in the expectation that the rules they've set down for their kids stick.

"Basically, when I'm not there, their core rules and values stay in place," Friedlein said. "My daughter is not really let out of my sight unless she's with another adult. My son is 14, and he has a little more responsibility. But if he goes somewhere, he calls me when he gets there or when he is leaving to go to another destination."

As summer approaches, bringing with it school-free days and tons more free time, more parents are wondering how to maintain a balance of allowing their kids independence and keeping them safe.

And that goes for kids of all ages, said Kathleen Olson, family relations specialist with the University of Minnesota Extension Service, who added that older doesn't always mean more responsible.

Home Alone

When it comes to an appropriate age for staying home unsupervised, Olson said, "there is no magic age."

"It's all very loose and up for debate," she said. "A lot of it depends on how reachable parents are and how responsible the child is. There are some 17-year-olds that maybe shouldn't be left home alone."

According to a U.S. Census report, 7 million of the country's 38 million children ages 5 to 14 are regularly left home alone. Among them, 3.4 million children are cared for by siblings, and 600,000 5- to 8-year-olds look after themselves.

It can be nerve-wracking for parents when their children are home alone or even at the park or bike-riding by themselves.

Tech Rescue

These days, however, parents can get a little help from technology. Cell phones and voicemail are just a couple of the things that can keep parents and kids connected. Even younger children have gotten in on the act.

The Firefly and TicTalk phones fit the bill. Both have built-in parental controls, and parents determine the numbers they want their children to have access to, whether incoming or outgoing.

"Kids can't receive calls from outsiders or predators," said Bill Wrightson, director of product development at Modeci, the maker of the TicTalk phone. "It's a phone parents can feel completely comfortable in giving to their kids. It's a phone parents can really trust."

Michelle Clements, a mother of three, said she got the Firefly phone for her 11-year-old daughter, Natalie, to use in case of emergencies.

"We got the Firefly because I felt she was too young to have a regular cell," said Clements, adding that she later passed the phone down to her 9-year-old daughter, Amanda. "We thought of doing walkie talkies, but they don't have the range the Firefly has."

Both phones are pay-as-you-go, so you don't rack up a bill.

In addition to phones, there are devices that feature a Global Positioning System, such as the Digital Angel microtransmitters. The wearable system, developed by Applied Digital Solutions, sends a signal that can be linked to a GPS to locate the wearer.

For teenage drivers, there are systems that help you locate them in the car. Such devices include the CarChipE/X and the AlarmRoad Safety RS-1000. Both devices attach underneath the dashboard and monitor your teen's driving.

Keeping An Eye Online

There's also a way to assume the Big Brother role with computer time. Parental-control software allows parents to block what they don't want their kids to have access to and to limit the amount of time they spend online.

A few good choices, according to reviews on Consumersearch.com, are CyberPatrol, Safe Eyes and CYBERsitter, each with its own strengths.

If versatility is what you want, you may want to try CyberPatrol, which gives parents more options for customization.

Safe Eyes is a good choice if you want to use it on more than one computer. The software can be put on up to three systems -- PC or Mac -- and it can be controlled over the Internet from a remote computer. Any changes that are made take effect right away.

The most aggressive filter of the bunch is CYBERsitter. It is more likely to catch and block content that parents want to keep from their kids. Unfortunately, it also may block legitimate sites.

Back To Basics

Even with so many options, parents still should remember to keep it simple, says family relations specialist Olson.

She suggests that parents have a safety plan. She said kids should know when to open the door or when to answer the phone when parents aren't home. They should have guidelines for such things as using the computer and the stove, among other things.

"Those things can panic kids," she said. "You need to have a plan in case of emergency situations. Not to scare them, but so that they know what to do." Check Click2Houston.com all week for these great kid-related features:

Monday -- Alter Kids' Food Habits 1 Nibble At A Time

Tuesday -- When Parents Away, Rules Should Stay

Wednesday -- Vacation Food: Kids Just Eat It Up

Thursday -- Summer Camps Light Fire Under Kids

Friday -- Save Fun Activities For Rainy Day

More Resources

• When Can Kids Be Left Home Alone?
• Are Your Teens Safe Online?