HOUSTON -

Oh, The Voice. I like you. I really like you.

Monday night’s 2-hour block of musical madness started off with what could easily be one of my favorite auditions thus far. Melanie Martinez, who looks like what you get if you put Cruella Deville, Lauren Hutton and Minnie Mouse in a blender and hit frappe, was an absolute gem.

Voice Equation Cropped

Now I complain a lot about singers who just exhale loudly and sigh/moan and expect me to consider that “singing.” Here is the exception to the rule. Melanie’s rendition of Britney Spears’ “Toxic” was full of little squeaks and breathy moments that didn’t mask her great voice, which came to bear during the chorus, but rather enhanced the overall performance by pumping it chock full of personality and pizzazz. Not to mention—who plays the tambourine with their feet? I mean really.

Things that were funny:

  • Cupid, from “The Cupid Shuffle,” sang “The Cupid Shuffle” so he could finally shake the persistent shadow cast by… “The Cupid Shuffle.”
  • My roommate on Brian Scartocci’s audition: “Oh wow. He doesn’t sound white at all.”
  • Beat Frequency. Just… everything about Beat Frequency.
  • Anytime a family includes Carson Daly in the family hug.

Now call me predictable, but AVERY WILSON. No one without training should be able to execute runs like that. WHAT’S THAT YOU SAY? AVERY WILSON IS 16 YEARS OLD?! The runs. The belt. The effortlessness. I can’t. It’s not fair. Breath support, vibrato, even pitch accuracy can be taught to an extent. Those nasty, sickening riffs and what had to have been sheer musical instinct? Not so much.


So here’s the team breakdown: Joining Team Adam are my beloved quirkadoo Melanie Martinez, Brian “He Doesn’t Sound White at All” Scartocci, AlessandraGuercio and Adanna Duru. Team Blake scored yet another country singer, Liz Davis, and Kelly Crapa. Beat Frequency and Paulina No Last Name jump on the Xtina Train, and Cee Lo cleaned up with YouTube sensation JR Aquino, weird beard guy who REALLY loves his family Nicholas David, and, of course, Avery Wilson.

Check back for more update on The Voice coming very soon.

Thanks for reading, and as always, thanks for watching KPRC Local 2!