Signing up to go on The Celebrity Apprentice as an adult is like knowingly regressing to teenagedom, but on national television. It seems awesome and fun until you realize you HATED your teenage years. Age thirteen was fun for NO ONE. All those drama-filled moments from high school you wish you could erase but will forever live in your memory? Yeah. Imagine those available on display for public ridicule and scorn. I’m just glad it’s happening to other people, and even gladder I get to watch and mock. Thanks, Celebrity Apprentice!
The task this week was for each team to build two original puppet characters (a la Jim Henson’s The Muppet Show) and perform an improvisation show with said puppets in front of a live audience alongside the cast members from Stuffed and Unstrung, an improv puppet show for adults. Think Second City/Whose Line is it Anyway? meets Avenue Q, minus the musical numbers.
But first, the teams got another shake-up from the Trumpmeister to even things out. The unstoppable dynamic duo of Clarsenio was broken up as Clay Aiken was sent over to Team Forte to join Lisa Lampanelli, Dayana Mendoza and Penn Jillette, leaving Paul Teutul, Sr., Teresa Giudice, Aubrey O’Day and Arsenio Hall to fend for themselves on Team Unanimous.
The project managers for this task were Lisa Lampanelli for Team Forte (because that makes sense, she does improv for a living, she’s no stranger to performing, I can easily picture Lisa roasting Kermit the Frog on Comedy Central, etc.), and Team Unanimous nominated… wait for it… wait for it… Paul Senior. The motorcycle guy. For a puppet show challenge. Hmm.
Some things I learned during this challenge:
- Teresa Giudice is hilariously racist.
- Underneath that mustache and all those muscle tees, Paul Senior is surprisingly fragile.
- The number “seven” is the only number one through ten with two syllables. Also, celebrities have difficulty counting syllables.
- All the training one needs to become a master puppeteer/improv actor can be acquired in church (per Clay Aiken).
For all of the hullabaloo between Clay and Lisa following last week’s board room, the two got along smashingly well and put on quite a good puppet show, with Penn acting as the host of the show and Dayana... gluing felt and googly eyes on puppets. Paul Senior was out of commission for the majority of this challenge because he threw his back out, a fairly common occurrence for the “tough guy.” A bit convenient, methinks, eh Paul? Arsenio and Teresa were left as puppeteers and Aubrey hosted the show for Team Unanimous.
(I wasn’t sure where this would fit in, so here is Clay Aiken’s quote of the week: “[Lisa] has a lot of piss and vinegar in ‘er.” Hilarious, but also, ew.)
The board room this week was pretty predictable. Lisa very clearly did not give Dayana a task, making her an easy target should they lose. The highlight, for me, was watching Lisa blubber: “I’m a com—hiccup—comedian—hiccup—I want to make pe—hiccup—people happy, not make gir—hiccup—girls cry!—hiccup!” Utterly absurd hilarity. But it was no surprise that Team Forte claimed the victory, giving Lisa her first win and $20,000 to her charity, the Gay Men’s Health Crisis. Paul Senior ended up bringing Teresa and Aubrey back to the board room (again, no surprise there) and was ultimately sent home because, well, he didn’t really do anything for this challenge except sit around and look awesome with his mustache.
Alas. There goes my other favorite contestant. It looks like it’s all up to Clay now.
Previews for next week indicate another sparring match between Aubrey and Arsenio. Nothing like a good verbal bloodbath in the board room to get me excited for Sunday night!
Thanks for reading, and as always, thanks for watching KPRC Local 2!