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Parents Can Help Children Conquer Fears

Doctor: Child Fears Common, Normal

POSTED: Friday, December 3, 2004
UPDATED: 4:53 pm CST December 3, 2004

Bedtime is not easy for some children. Fear of the dark is a common childhood problem. But parents can help children conquer those fears, Local 2 reported Friday.

Childhood Fears

K.C. Stegall is 10 years old and still deals with some bedtime fears.

"My heart beats really fast and sometimes I start shaking," Stegall said. "I have nightmares."

A simple sound can throw him into a panic and he has to keep his light on all night.

"Some of them can sound like the sound in scary movies," Stegall said.

"He would think there was something in the closet or things like that," mother Nadine Stegall said.

"Childhood fears are very common and they're normal," said Dr. Liza Bonin, a child psychologist at Texas Children's Hospital.

"Your job as a parent is to help the child develop the sense that they're competent and can handle the fears," Bonin said.

Bonin said parents play an important role in a child's developing and maintaining fears.

First, they should be a good example, according to Bonin.

"Children learn by watching their parents," Bonin said.

A parent's own fears can easily be transferred to children. Also, parents should watch how they react to their child's fears.

"If children are feeling scared at night and parents sleep with them, that sends the message that the kid was not safe to be alone," Bonin said.

When Stegall gets scared, he pulls the covers over his face and then thinks of happy thoughts.

"Stuff that I might want for Christmas," he said.

If it does not work, his mom helps him out.

"I just go to the closet with him or we go outside and we look (where the sound came from)," she said.

Bonin said that is the right thing to do.

It helps children learn to manage their fears on their own.

"That might mean that they can manage the nightlight. They can assign where it will be. They can have what they want in their bedroom," Bonin said.

"I hope that the day will come when I won't be shaking and my heart won't be beating and I'm just scared to death," K.C. Stegall said.

Bonin said when fear and anxiety start to interfere with your child's life, such as sleep, school and friendships, then it's a problem and professional help might be needed.

A stressful event in a child's life like divorce, death or relocation can also trigger bedtime fears.

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