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I Had Never Seen A Beach

POSTED: Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Gayla L. Ross is a five-year survivor of breast cancer who was featured in Guidepost magazine. She is a professor of dental hygiene and dental assisting. Her husband will ride to raise money in her honor in the 2008 Hershey’s Tour de Pink.

For a few moments, I thought, "I just want to live to become old. I want to see a beach. I want to ride a Harley. I want to get married and have a family."

They were all things I feared I might not accomplish, facing a life-threatening disease at the age of 27.

Then I thought, "I want to do anything and everything I can to survive breast cancer."

This continued to be my only focus for the next year.

I just happened to feel a lump when I crossed my arms one morning. Was it a lump? It did not feel like a profound lump, and it didn't alarm me, but I asked a medical professional to check it later that morning.

"I kind of feel what you are talking about. We can check it again in a couple of weeks, or I can order diagnostics. It would be very unusual, but not impossible, for a person your age to have breast cancer, but the choice is yours."

I made the right choice, the safe choice. I had to wait a couple of weeks for my mammogram and ultrasound appointment. During the wait, for a brief moment I thought, "What if this is cancer? What if I am diagnosed with something -- Not now! Not at 27, not days before Christmas!"

I also felt no need to worry others or myself, when the likelihood of this being cancer was so low. I was 27. I had no family history. Eighty-some percent of breast masses are benign. There was nothing to worry about. I went to the appointment alone, and would get the good news and then later tell my mother that all is OK.

Then the doctor began using "concerning" terms. He knew from the ultrasound results alone without any doubt that this was cancer.

I left the office that day, Dec. 20, 2002, with a small incision from a core biopsy, an ice pack and a booklet titled, "Dealing With A Cancer Diagnosis."

I gained much more than that over the days, months, and now -- thank goodness -- years to follow. My diagnosis, treatment, great support from friends, co-workers, family and especially my wonderful and amazing mother, LaVerne Winn, have changed my life forever. These are the things that have made me grow and desire to accomplish more in life. Never just settle for being content.

I chose to be aggressive in my treatment. Bilateral mastectomies, four months of chemotherapy, and reconstruction were my activities over the 10 months following diagnosis of invasive ductal carcinoma, 2 cm. I have no regrets about my course of treatment, and my surgeons left nothing to be desired -- compassion, clinical skill, and kindness. Consumed by research so I wouldn't have to put the responsibility of medical decisions on anyone but myself, I never once thought, "Why me?"

Instead, I thought, "OK, this is the situation. How do I want to handle it?"

I met the goal of seeing a beach, went scuba diving to 90 feet, rode a motorcycle over 1,000 miles up the West coast, even met the man of my dreams and got married in Central Park. But there are always other goals still there inspiring me to reach them.

I want to spread awareness about breast cancer issues facing young survivors, and put a face -- my face -- with this cause so that people realize that no one is immune. Some might be surprised to see a 5 foot, 2 inch dental hygienist and breast cancer survivor from Oklahoma ride a motorcycle with with pink flames, and I hope they never forget, as it could be a life-saving reminder to someone, someday.

Never wait to do things that matter, you might not have the chance later. "One of these days" may never come.
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