Every once in awhile, I look in the files and realize I've got bits and pieces of articles and items of interest that are piling up, but none of them on their own are quite "big" enough to make a column on their own. So, in the finest kitchen tradition, this week we're going to get all the Tupperware out of the fridge, check for anything green that shouldn't be and put together a meal.

Food Comedy

I've done a little bit of standup comedy ... nothing you'll be seeing on HBO, but it went over pretty well. One thing I noticed was the only thing that drew bigger laughs than male/female bits were bits about food. I did one involving me sitting outside a Weight Watchers office with a quart of chocolate milk and a box of Krispy Kremes that KILLED. (Little did I know that Diary of a Fat Man was in my future.)

Louie Anderson, the only comic bigger than me, of course did quite a lot of great food humor, and Bill Cosby's routine about feeding his kids chocolate cake for breakfast is one I can listen to over and over again.

The king, however, is one of the scrawniest guys ever to grab a mike: George Carlin. His "refrigerator guy" routine, about finding the "meat cake" in the back of the fridge has made various drinks fly out my nose over the years. Even though I know it by heart, it kills me every time.

The one thing that scares me the worst is finding an empty plate. How did it get there? Maybe something ATE something else!

What's your favorite food bit? Got a favorite food joke? Send it to me and maybe we'll get a bunch of them together.

Great New Spice!

Annie Dubois, over at TexMexToGo.com, has corraled a new spice blend, and you're going to kick yourself if you don't try it. It's called Texas Trail Dust, and it's a mix of balanced spices and citrus notes that is so good I was eating it by pinches straight out of the jar.

It's a natural for any kind of meat, especially pork or chicken; and it's even good on popcorn! Scrambled eggs? Yup.

For a WICKED good margarita, use it instead of salt on the rim of your glass! I recommend purchasing in case lots.

Sick Food

One of the best ways to tell what your favorite foods are is to look at what you crave when you've got a cold. I'm not talking about your favorite elaborate dish, your favorite gourmet goodie or that one super-expensive sweet you go after ... I'm talking about the food that, when you're so sick you feel like lifting a fork is beyond your abilities, you'll still sit up to eat it.

For me, that's always meant grilled cheese sandwiches and Campbell's tomato soup. However, it's got to be fixed just so: the soup has to be made with milk and topped with a big pat of butter, and the sandwich has to have Miracle Whip and a dollop of ketchup inside.

Oh, and don't you DARE go using "real" cheese in my grilled cheese. Anything other than old-fashioned American slices and I'll relapse.

Of course, there's one thing that makes sick food really work, and that's who makes it. Every time I'm feeling puny, I can count on my wife to get the skillet and saucepan going and put her own sprinkle of magic into the food. On the very rare occasion I've made it for myself, it never tastes quite right ... and certainly doesn't work as well.

In recent years, for head colds, I've also started going for hot and sour soup from my favorite Chinese restaurant. There's just something about the combination of hot broth and spices that opens up my head and soothes a sore throat like nothing else. And, again, having someone bring it to you and sit with you while you eat it is at least as important as the soup itself.

What's your "sick food?" Tell me and maybe we'll put together a "medicinal" column.

Fast-Food Review

If you are lucky enough to live in range of a Jack In The Box restaurant, I'm pleased to recommend their new "Deli Pannido" sandwiches.

This is far from the first time a burger chain has tried to make an upscale/ethnic dish available at the drive-through, but this is one of the few times it's been done well. The bun is a fine Ciabatta baguette, nicely crusty on the outside with a tender middle; and the deli meat actually has some character. The "Deli Trio," with salami, Black Forest ham and roasted turkey is as good as any fast-food sandwich I've ever had, and even better than a lot of deli subs.

The one demerit I could give the sandwiches, and it's really a matter of personal preference, is the "Buttermilk Ranch" sauce on the ham and turkey pannido. What on earth would be wrong with a nice, tart mustard or even a fruit-tinged sauce? You've got good deli meat and cheese ... don't drown it in that most ubiquitous of bland toppings.

And while I'm at it, who decided what "ranch" tastes like? Shouldn't it taste like dust and horsehair? Maybe some hardtack?

And on that note, I'm going to toss out some of the stuff that's tapping on its container lids and head out for a sandwich myself.

Got a comment? Question? Recipe to share? Drop me a line anytime!