A recent study by University of Toronto researchers revealed that parents often lie to their children. Parents who tell their kids to be honest apparently aren't exactly leading by example.

From little fibs about a child's "beautiful" artwork to tall tales about mythical creatures -- such as the paci-fairy, who takes a child's pacifier off to a magical land -- parents use lies to get what they want out of their children. Some parents go so far as to invent imaginary police who will step in when a child has a tantrum.

They must be horrible parents, right? Not exactly. As Christmas approaches, I get excited about taking my children to see Santa and picking out presents. Let the lies begin!

Being toddlers, they won't remember this Christmas season, nor the gifts they receive, but it will be the first step in a childhood of falsehoods. Is that such a bad thing? Is talking up Santa laying the groundwork for my children to be liars themselves? Or is it a good way to stir up their imaginations and help them think creatively?

I grew up believing in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the other silly creatures that would drop by my house in the middle of the night to leave me presents. When a girl on the playground in second grade made fun of me for believing in Santa, I was devastated. I still find myself getting angry when I see her chastising me.

I tried to keep up my secret for another season or so, because I didn't want to disappoint my parents. I didn't dare ask my slightly older brother, because I didn't want to ruin whatever he thought was the truth. I felt bad about knowing the truth.

To this day, my mom addresses holiday gifts to me from "Santa" in her own handwriting, of course. It's childish, but it's also a fun way for her to hold onto being a mom. As much as that playground girl annoyed me, I'm not scarred from once believing in something unbelievable.

And I don't trust my parents less.

Beyond the mythical, what will I tell my children when they ask about grownup stuff before they are grownups? The birds and the bees, alcohol -- you name it, they are going to ask. Should I tell them that I saved myself for marriage or that I waited until my 21st for a sip of champagne?

Or is there something in-between that allows me to be honest but not too honest? It's easy for an outsider to say, "Tell them the truth if you want them to tell the truth," but I also don't believe my children need to know everything about my personal life.

They also don't need to have information that they may not be ready to handle. If a relative dies, what's the best way to tell a young child? Do I make up a story about the deceased watching over the child from heaven? Or do I explain that the person died from X and is never coming back? Or a combination of both?

I understand why parents lie to their children, without even thinking about it. A child throwing a tantrum is embarrassing, and it's easier to say, "The store manager is going to kick you out if you don't behave," than putting the kid in time out in the middle of a store.

But is the easy way out the best for children? I want my children to respect me enough that I don't have to resort to lies to discipline them. Ideally I would say, "No," and they would listen instead of having to tell them that the bad children police are coming.

Ideally, I said.

I also want my children to feel comfortable coming to me when they do something wrong. If I teach them to lie, won't they lie to me? I remember covering up little mishaps as a child because I didn't want to get in trouble. I felt bad about lying, but thought it was worth it if I didn't disappoint my parents with a broken plate or detention for chewing gum.

If I'm not even sure, how will my children know when it's OK to stretch the truth and when it's just plain wrong?

That's the problem with lying. It's fine to tell a friend her new hideous haircut is becoming, but it's wrong to tell the same friend you didn't get her call when you actually just hit "ignore."

But kids don't necessarily pick up on nuances. Until a certain age, they think in absolutes. Coaching middle school girls in field hockey, I learned that exceptions to the rule often throw them off in a big way. Why does one referee penalize them for something but not another? How can a rule be a rule only sometimes?

Researchers haven't determined if parenting through lying causes long-term damage to children, but I'm sure they will let us know eventually. It will be just something else for parents to feel bad about and question their skills or lack thereof.

In the meantime, I will do my best to stick to the "honesty is the best policy" policy. Like life, there will be exceptions to that rule. I can only hope the lying my children will learn will come from someone other than me.

I am not ready, however, to take Santa out of Christmas. The jolly old fat man didn't ruin my childhood, and he won't hurt theirs either.

Laura Lewis Brown is the mother of infant twins. Her column appears every other Thursday.