"Anything your kid can do, mine can do better. Mine can do anything better than yours."

I imagine the soccer mom version of this "Annie Get Your Gun" song playing when I encounter another mom with a child the same age as mine looking to prove her kid is tops.

"Is he walking yet?" "How many words can she say?"

My children are 11 months old. They love to babble, especially using their "da-das" when they are happy and "ma-mas" when they are upset. They are on the verge of walking, but realize that crawling is much more efficient for them at this point. They love to clap, point, wave and dance, especially to Dancing With the Stars. I have no idea if this is what they are "supposed" to be doing, and I don't worry too much about it until I run into other mothers.

When my friend tells me that her daughter is a prodigy, I just nod even though I want to gag myself with a spoon, '80s style. Children open our eyes to a whole new way of seeing the world. They laugh at things that we never would think funny and delight in objects we don't think about, like ceiling fans and trees swaying in the breeze. Children do exciting things every day, and it's natural to want to share their accomplishments.

It's just not pleasant when another mom mentions her son's milestone bashing and looks at mine as if to say, "Oh don't worry, he'll get there eventually."

People are competitive by nature, and I'm one of those people. I play sports to win, not just have fun. I study for a test to get an A, not just pass the class. I could probably gloss over these stupid comments, but that's not always easy when I want to win.

Women can take competition to a nasty level, trashing another woman who is interested in the same guy or shunning someone who dresses or acts different. It sounds like the stuff high school is made of, but it doesn't change once we are adults. I think we all can relate to that feeling of being looked up and down by other women. Try as I might not to do it, I've done some sizing up, too.

There are women who need to have the best boyfriend with the best job. There are women who want the biggest rock on their fingers and the fanciest wedding to brag about. I have also had acquaintances who make a point of telling everyone that they attend the most prestigious grad school and how much money they are guaranteed to make when they graduate.

And then we get pregnant. Sometimes the trying to get pregnant is a competition itself, as I experienced. "I can't believe how long it took me," some would whine about after a three-month wait for that positive pregnancy test.

As my belly grew, I started to realize that pregnancy was not without its bragging rights battles. "How much did you gain?" "I didn't get any morning sickness at all." "I'm so upset that I've gained 10 pounds!" My doctor even warned me that other women would want me to get big and fat, because some women love to watch others eat themselves into hoggish oblivion.

It would be easy to blame all this nasty business on insecurity, low self-esteem and survival of the fittest, and hottest, women. So why can't it stop once we have kids? Sure, we can still compete over superficial stuff, but let's leave the kids out of it.

Just as I strive for perfection -- without succeeding, of course -- I am the victim of the "my kid is better than yours" game, too. I realize that, in general, children even out when they hit first grade, but that doesn't mean I don't want mine to shine as soon as possible.

They do in many ways, and I feel comfortable telling my family and close friends about how amazing they are. "She's so smart." "He's so clever." Grandparents eat that up, but I don't know that my neighbor would.

We want our kids to be the best, but does that mean being better than others? In a way I guess it does, because other people serve as our measuring sticks. How do I know if my job pays well if I don't have an idea of what my friend makes? How do I know if my son is a quick learner if I don't know what other boys his age are doing?

But, like my waistline, there will always be someone with a thinner one and another with a thicker one. I will always have a friend with a flashier car and another who is trying hard to pay off her used one. We all succeed and fail at different trials.

When it comes to kids, I try not to get caught up in milestones. I assume my children will develop on schedule, but I can't stress over other children who walk at 9 months and who know the alphabet by 12 months.

During my pregnancy, I read the updated version of Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care, and there are purposely no milestones printed in it because "every baby and child's pattern of development is different from every other child's." Some may walk faster than others but not talk as well.

So my children are just fine the way they are. When a woman down the street recently asked me, "Are they advanced?" I said, "I'm not sure, but I hope so."

We want the best for our children, and that often comes in the way of hitting milestones without major struggles. It's not worth trying to force your kids to walk or read at certain times. They all get there eventually. And when they do, I hope they realize a little competition among friends is fine, but too much is just silly.

Laura Lewis Brown is the mother of infant twins. Her column appears every other Thursday.