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1st Birthday Party Not Just Piece Of Cake

What Do Toddlers Really Need In A Party?

POSTED: Thursday, April 16, 2009

In six short weeks, my babies turn 1. It doesn't seem possible, until I take a look at the circles under my eyes and watch them cruise from table to couch to table to refrigerator and back again.

This milestone deserves a celebration. They can't say the word "party" but that doesn't mean they don't need one.

I love entertaining. We host a holiday party every year and little gatherings along the way. It's fun to plan the food and drinks and show people a good time.

When I started to think about what Bridget and Wyatt would want for their first birthday, I figured "piece of cake" (no pun intended). A party is just a party after all.

But then I recalled my friends' daughter's first birthday party and realized this event comes with many bumps and bruises, depending how it's planned. I can't get away with just food, alcohol and a start time anymore. I have to think about the guest list, a fun theme that is easy to decorate, entertaining other people's kids, planning around nap times and probably many more annoying aspects I never had to deal with.

So is the party for us or for them? I guess at this point it's a bit of both. It's a chance for Jack and I to share this event and have a few drinks and laughs with our closest relatives and friends. For the kids, it's a debut of sorts, a chance to show off their new walking skills and pick up some new loot, even if they don't need a thing.

I have heard of parents who take this special occasion to the extreme, renting a moon bounce, hiring clowns and spending a ton. In the end, it really is about those precious photos of a baby or two covered in cake.

Like many parents, my friends saw Anna's first birthday as an opportunity to throw a party. For me, that means inviting everyone we know. But judging on Anna's horrified reactions to scores of eyes starting at her as she was handed her first slice of chocolate cake, too many people is overwhelming. Tears ensue, and who really wants to cry on her birthday?

My friend Melanie has a big family and is inviting 90 people to her daughter's first birthday party, so my list of 20 to 30 seems pretty moderate. Inviting even this modest amount means there will be kids to contend with. My house is basically baby-proof, but that doesn't mean I have a lot of options for kids who aren't mine or even the same age.

Bridget and Wyatt often skip their bevy of amazing toys for the chance to snatch the remote control or a ribbon from a gift box. Kids are pretty basic, so I'll assume my mini guests will be as well. If not, their parents can entertain them.

I could avoid the dread of "other people's kids" if we go with the original plan to just have immediate family. But that eliminates the godparents, who have already asked when the party is, as well as our friends and a few neighbors who invited us to their kids' birthday parties.

We can't exactly say, "Leave your kids at home," so I have to be pretty strict with the list. I found an article online that says the rule is one child guest for the age the birthday boy or girl is turning. So Bridget and Wyatt should each get a guest of their own, if that's at all possible.

Throwing kids into the mix makes timing key. Mine take two naps, one in the late morning and afternoon, so I have to plan for them to be awake and happy instead of tired and grumpy.

Then I realize that if I plan it for noon, that means other kids on the guest list will have to skip their naps and perhaps not come after all. I guess that's not my problem, but I have to keep it in mind.

As I continue to debate the guest list, I am faced with the theme dilemma. Many people go with the nursery theme, bumble bees, dinosaurs or Disney characters and find decorations to match. A creative friend of mine had a garden party for her son's birthday, and each child guest went home with a flower pot that he planted.

Our kids' nursery is a "dogs at the beach" theme. We love the beach, and judging from the children's experiences, so do they.

So a beach theme seems pretty obvious, but how far do I go with it? We have talked about getting a sandbox for the back yard -- that will be our beach. My husband suggested the Fudgie the Whale Carvel ice cream cake that we all know from the commercials around Father's Day. A whale is a sea mammal, so that fits.

Beyond that, I plan to make cupcakes and draw crabs on them (We live in Baltimore so it's perfect). I want to keep the main food simple. Burgers and dogs on the new gas grill and a variety of side dishes, including macaroni for the kiddos.

Just when I feel I have this occasion all figured out, it hits me that something sweet is what the kids need. They don't need balloons, streamers, a scary clown or a long guest list. They are not going to remember a single thing about it.

So Bridget and Wyatt will have ice cream cake and cupcakes to choose from at their backyard bbq with a beachy twist. Tears may fall, but it won't be because Mommy and Daddy invited the entire world to ooo and ahh at them.

Turning one is a big deal, but celebrating really can be a piece of cake.

Laura Lewis Brown is the mother of infant twins. Her column appears every other Thursday.
The views expressed are not those of Click2Houston.com, KPRC or its affiliated companies. This is a community moderated forum. (Please note the 'Like' and 'Report' tabs.) By posting your comments you agree to accept our Terms of Use.

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