Listen up!

Class is in session.

Don't have the dough to pay for a wrestling pay-per-view nearly every week? Thank the good Lord this fantastic column is still going strong. When it comes to big dog wrestling promotion ppv's, I'll tell you what should happen (if I were in charge -- and I really should be) and what will happen (because I know all, after all), and when it's all over I'll tell you what did happen (and I'm right more than I'm wrong -- look it up).

Last night, WWE promoted a little show called "Vengeance," featuring the crew from "Raw." There. That's what's called a "jumping-on point" in the business. Now pay attention you little monsters, here's what happened:

Challenge Match: Eugene vs. Umaga
What Should Happen: Umaga has destroyed everyone so far. It's a lame, unconvincing act -- but I hope he keeps it up against Eugene, another lame, unconvincing act.

What Will Happen: Umaga will take some abuse from his mentally challenged opponent, and then drill him.

What Did Happen: Eugene got in a few licks before Umaga put him away in a 90-second match. Kamala, Jim Duggan and Doink the Clown were at ringside in support of Eugene. Quite the motley crew. I smell Umaga vs. Kamala.

Challenge Match: Kane vs. "Imposter Kane"
What Should Happen: I can't get fired up for this one. World Cup soccer is more interesting. Sorry Kane, but you're trapped in another lame angle. For the record, Mr. Imposter should get the win just so Kane goes nuttier. I love it when wresters go batty.

What Will Happen: If "Imposter Kane" loses, what's next for him? Not a thing. That's why he'll win. Scrap continues.

What Did Happen: Scrap continues as IK won with a chokeslam.

Challenge Match: Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair
What Should Happen: Two legends in a two-out--of-three falls wrestling match. LOVE the concept. HATE the fact that it's not saved for a bigger show, like SummerSlam or WrestleMania. If I were booking it, Flair loses the first fall, but comes back in the final two. He then gets a title shot and retires as WWE champion. (I'll never give it up.)

What Will Happen: Gotta go with the Nature Boy, the awesome Ric Flair in three falls.

What Did Happen: Flair outwrestled Foley, two falls to none, to grab the victory.

Challenge Match: Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle
What Should Happen: Orton, wrestling for WWE, takes on Angle, who now works for ECW. Angle made Orton tap out in the ECW ppv a few weeks ago, but there's no reason for him to win again on a WWE show. Orton needs to gain a little momentum.

What Will Happen: Orton takes it.

What Did Happen: Orton hit Angle with the RKO for the win.

Intercontinental Championship Match: Shelton Benjamin (c) vs. Carlito vs. Johnny Nitro
What Should Happen: Not a bad spot for these three mid-carders. It's time for things to change, though. There's a reason Nitro and his valet Melina jumped to "Raw" from "Smackdown," and this is it. Nitro -- a smarmy heel -- should get the gold.

What Will Happen: Nitro will win, with help from his equally smarmy gal pal.

What Did Happen: Nitro got the victory, pinning Benjamin.

Extreme Lumberjack Match: John Cena vs. Sabu
What Should Happen: This one pits WWE's Cena against one of ECW's poster boys. Let's face it, Cena can't wrestle -- and wasn't exactly engaging as WWE champion. I think he should use this match to begin his heel turn -- a brutal beating of Sabu. And then Cena should go to ECW on Sci Fi (Tuesday nights) and get back to what made him famous -- being a cheap street thug. His babyface act has always been lame, and needs to go. The guy is in need of a serious makeover.

What Will Happen: Cena will win the match.

What Did Happen: Cena won after Sabu tapped out to the STFU.

Handicap Match: Degeneration X vs. The Spirit Squad
What Should Happen: DX is back. But can the team of Triple H and Shawn Michaels be as fresh as they were a few years back? Most movie sequels are terrible, we all know it. But there's a chance old DX can go against the grain and forward compelling storylines. For this match, it's time to finally junk the Squad. They're getting on my nerves.

What Will Happen: If DX doesn't win, I'll write love letters to each member of the SS in this column.

What Did Happen: DX destroyed the male cheerleaders. Again, thank the good Lord.

WWE Title Match: Rob Van Dam (c) vs. Edge
What Should Happen: Edge, without a doubt, should take the gold here. He can then go to RVD's ECW TV playground and rub the title in his face. I get the feeling there will be a lot of WWE/ECW cross-promotion over the summer to make sure the Sci Fi show stays healthy.

What Will Happen: Edge will bring back the belt to WWE. RVD is the ultimate transitional champion.

What Did Happen: RVD's reign as transitional champion will last one more night, at least. He pinned Edge, but later agreed to meet Cena on "Raw" the next night.

Eight matches, seven correct predictions from yours truly. That's called knowing the biz, kids. I'm the real deal. The one, true Professor Wrestling. I know, it's your privilege. Hey, special shout out to nasty letter writers Ryan Thompson and Jed Shaffer: Just gotta say gents, that it's great to be me. Hang in there. Closed circuit to Shane O'Mac: You probably can't afford me. But go ahead, make an offer.

NEXT WEEK: Your letters, my answers. It'll be a blast.

Now scram!

Class dismissed!

(Professor Wrestling is a masked employee of Internet Broadcasting. Got a question, comment, complaint? E-mail him right here. )