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Professor Wrestling: 'Great American Bash' Results

HHH, Punk, Henry Risk Gold

POSTED: Thursday, July 17, 2008
UPDATED: 10:11 am CDT July 22, 2008

Listen up!

Class is in session.

Can C.M. Punk survive his first PPV challenge as World Heavyweight Champion? Can Triple H and Edge put on a inaugural match to remember? How can Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho fail to amaze? Those questions and more were answered Sunday night in WWE's "Great American Bash" pay-per-view, as the promotion entered a new era in the post-draft shakeup.

Preview paragraph perfectly performed, please peruse picks and outcomes:

Divas Championship Match: Natalya vs. Michelle McCool
What Should Happen: I'm not sure why WWE needed a second women's title, but this match will crown its first champion. The smart money always goes to the heel winning, so it should be the daughter of Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart, the skanky Natalya.

What Will Happen: Since this is dubbed a Divas title, I'm guessing it'll go to the prettier contestant, which is Miss McCool.

What Did Happen: McCool took it to become the first Divas champ.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: John Morrison and The Miz (c) vs. Finlay and Hornswoggle vs. Jesse and Festus vs. Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder
What Should Happen: Wow. What a collection of non-talent for this fatal four-way match. Except for Finlay and Morrison, the level of mediocrity is stunning. I'm not saying it won't be entertaining, but at the same time it would be nice if it were offered for free on "Smackdown!" If I were running the show, the stenchy Great Khali would come out and pin everyone.

What Will Happen: If Morrison and Miz don't win, they're laughing stocks.

What Did Happen: Hawkins and Ryder are your new tag champs. Morrison and Miz should be ashamed.

Parking Lot Brawl: JBL vs. John Cena
What Should Happen: On "Raw," JBL tried to ram Cena with a speeding automobile. Cena ducked out of the way at the last minute (according to the script). That means Cena should get his revenge on the big money show.

What Will Happen: Cena will make JBL pay for his recent crimes, and will win the match.

What Did Happen: JBL got the pin here. Looks like Cena will have to wait until "SummerSlam" to get his final revenge.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho
What Should Happen: If this were the main event, it wouldn't bother me. Both men have been textbook perfect in selling this ongoing feud. Who should win? I have to say Jericho should dominate here in order to set up Michaels winning the inevitable – and more lucrative -- "SummerSlam" rematch. That's where this is going.

What Will Happen: I'm picking Y2J to get the win.

What Did Happen: Y2J was handed the victory after the ref stopped the match because HBK was too bloody.

ECW Championship Match: Mark Henry (c) vs. Tommy Dreamer
What Should Happen: I would put the belt on Dreamer in a New York minute. It would give me a reason to watch ECW just to see how long he can hang onto it. Henry just doesn't have that pull, although I like how a now-evil Tony Atlas is at his side.

What Will Happen: Henry and Atlas cheat to win.

What Did Happen: Henry won with an assist from both Tony A. and former babyface Colin Delaney, who turned on Dreamer.

WWE Championship Match: Triple H (c) vs. Edge
What Should Happen: It's hard to believe these two have never met for a major title on a pay-per-view. That being said, there's no way HHH will book himself to lose the first time out. Maybe it'll happen in the rematch, but not here.

What Will Happen: Triple H will keep his title.

What Did Happen: Triple H retained, pinning Edge.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: C.M. Punk (c) vs. Batista
What Should Happen: Punk should not lose this soon after getting the title. But Vince McMahon loves monsters like Batista wearing gold, so I'm guessing Punk might have a short reign.

What Will Happen: I think Punk will retain. Look for Kane to interfere and mess things up.

What Did Happen: Kane interfered and really messed things up as the ref called for a double countout. Punk retained. Now, did I call that one to the tee or not?

That's it. Five right and only two wrong for this event, which makes me "the man" once again. Boy, it feels good!

Time to scram, because class is … dismissed!

(Professor Wrestling is a masked employee of Internet Broadcasting, hailing from Parts Unknown. Got a question, comment, complaint? E-mail him right here. )

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