Listen up!

Class is in session.

Well, did you enjoy "One Night Stand?" That's right, just when you thought it was safe to pay your cable bill, Vince McMahon wanted more of your money.

Did he deserve it? Judge for yourself, as we run down a card that featuresd a gimmick in every match:

Podcast: 'Old School, New School' -- Episode 77

Singapore Cane Match: Big Show vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. C.M. Punk vs. John Morrison vs. Chavo Guerrero
What Should Happen: The dreaded Kendo stick! How about a steel pipe match instead? You know, something that actually might hurt if you get hit with it? Anyway, Big Show should and will win this match, as the victor gets an ECW title shot against Kane.

What Will Happen: Bet big farm on Big Show to win.

What Did Happen: Big Show took it. He'll face Kane at the next PPV.

'I Quit' Match: Melina vs. Beth Phoenix
What Should Happen: Former evil Diva pals now square off against each other in a PPV tilt. At least WWE continues to push Phoenix, who isn't terrible in the ring. I'd book this short and sweet and have Melina screech out the magic words: "They're fake!" Oops, wrong match. I mean, "I quit!"

What Will Happen: Melina will be defeated.

What Did Happen: Phoenix forced Melina to say "I quit."

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga
What Should Happen: It's the little guy versus the monster -- as two guys who should be main-eventers slug it out in the middle of the card. If WWE is going to get back to a quality Hardy push, now is the time that he dazzles the crowd with a semi-crazy spot to put Umaga away. Down the road, I'd love to see Hardy take Hunter's title. Wouldn't that be fun?

What Will Happen: I'm going with Hardy to outfox Umaga.

What Did Happen: Hardy pinned the big guy.

First Blood Match: JBL vs. John Cena
What Should Happen: A few weeks ago these two met in PPV mode, and Cena won. I picked JBL because I thought he deserved a bit of a boost. I'm going the same route here. JBL should win, drawing first blood on Cena -- but that doesn't mean Cena still can't do some damage after the final bell.

What Will Happen: JBL will draw first blood, but will likely have some of his own spilled as well.

What Did Happen: Cena bloodied JBL first, and won this contest.

Time Capsule: 'What Happened' at 'One Night Stand' 2007?

Stretcher Match: Batista vs. Shawn Michaels
What Should Happen: Here's the show-stealer, kids. Michaels will once again carry a lesser opponent to a great match. If I'm in charge, it'll be HBK that dominates -- but ultimately lose here. In a brutal match like this one, he doesn't need to win to look good -- and Batista can't get buried too far in the WWE pecking order.

What Will Happen: Batista outlasts HBK -- barely.

What Did Happen: Chris Jericho tried to help out HBK, but Batista was just too much for him. Dave Batista wins.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Undertaker vs. Edge
What Should Happen: This is a "Tables, Ladders and Chairs" match to fill the vacant title. If UT loses, he's banned from WWE. Right.

What Will Happen: Lock of the night. UT is not getting fired. Just won't happen.

What Did Happen: It happened. Edge defeated UT for the belt. I'm still not convinced Taker will be going anywhere, though.

WWE Championship Match: Triple H (c) vs. Randy Orton
What Should Happen: This is a "Last Man Standing" match, between two guys that are now facing each other in their third consecutive PPV. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but do I have to pay for it again? Does it matter what happens here if Hunter doesn't want to give up his belt? Nope. Can't fight city hall.

What Will Happen: Mr. Stephanie McMahon will keep his WWE championship belt.

What Did Happen: Triple H was the last man standing. Orton, who lost, may have suffered a legit separated shoulder.

That's it. There's not a person on this planet gave you a more precise take on "One Night Stand." For the record, I only missed two matches! It's just another example of you knowing to come here when you want to know what's going to happen in sports entertainment extravaganzas. I do it just for you. So what else do I do? Thought you'd never ask.

For more on "One Night Stand," don't forget to download Episode 77 of "Old School, New School" -- the Professor Wrestling podcast. Dowload it RIGHT HERE!

That's it.

Class is dismissed!

(Professor Wrestling is a masked employee of Internet Broadcasting, hailing from Parts Unknown. Got a question, comment, complaint? E-mail him right here. )